MSN Conversations: Harry Potter style
by Biohazard child
Summary: Crack fic. Imagine a few of the characters in Harry Potter placed on MSN messenger, having a [not so] civil conversation! Oneshot. [Slight slash, may have to squint to see it though.] M for language, nothing else.


**A/N: **OKAY, SO DON'T KILL ME KIDDIES. XD I dunno. This is 100 percent crack. Just imagine Harry... Ron... Hermione... Ginny... Draco... Blaise... in a MSN convo. I think it'd go something like this. Slash if you tilt your head to the left and squint, (HPDM still, haha!)

Try figuring out for yourself who's who. (:

* * *

_the boy who isn't a fucking hero! says:_  
okay, so who's in this convo? 

_chudley cannons rulez says:_  
me

_Hermione says:_  
There's a window to your right that tells you, Harry.

_chudley cannons rulez says:_  
how the bloody hell do i work this thing

_Hermione says:_  
Ron.. are you having problems?

_chudley cannons rulez says:_  
shuttup

_the boy who isn't a fucking hero! says:_  
someone invite ginny please?

_Hermione says:_  
Harry, you shouldn't use such profanity in your name... It's offensive.

_the boy who isn't a fucking hero! says:  
_...

----------------------------  
_six older brothers... thanks, god._ has been added to the conversation.  
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_the boy who isn't a fucking hero! says:_  
hey ginny

_Hermione says:_  
Ginny! Help your brother figure out MSN!

_six older brothers... thanks, god._ says:  
umm, alright... Ron?

----------------------------  
_Purity stays in the Veins._ has been added to the conversation.  
----------------------------

_chudley cannons rulez says:_  
who the hell is that??

_Purity stays in the Veins. says:_  
Hello, idiots.

_Hermione says:_  
Who is 'Purity stays in the Veins.'?

_the boy who isn't a fucking hero! says:  
_...

_Purity stays in the Veins. says:_  
Who the fuck invited me in here?

_six older brothers... thanks, god._ says:  
...  
_the boy who isn't a fucking hero! says:  
_..._  
_

_chudley cannons rulez says:_  
...? i dont get this guys...  
_  
_----------------------------  
_ hotmale (at) _has been added to the conversation.  
----------------------------

_the boy who isn't a fucking hero! says:_  
whoever's inviting... please stop.

_hotmale (at) hotmail says:  
_the fuck is this?

___hotmale (at) hotmail says:  
_malfoy did you add me into another gay thing I SAID NO ALREADY GOD

___Purity stays in the Veins. says:  
_No need to call me God; I think I already know.

_____the boy who isn't a fucking hero! says:_  
?!?!??!?!?!? THE HELL? MALFOY? ZABINI?

_____Hermione says:_  
Harry...

_____chudley cannons rulez says:_  
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT???????

_____six older brothers... thanks, god._ says:  
uuh...

_____the boy who isn't a fucking hero! says:_  
I'M FUCKING LEAVING

_____the boy who isn't a fucking hero! says:_  
NOT BEING IN THE SAME CONVO AS MALFOY

_____Purity stays in the Veins. says:_  
You don't seem to have a problem sharing things this morning, Potter.

_____hotmale (at) hotmail says:  
_ohhhhhhhh pot headddddddd!! watz crackinnnnnn'?

_______chudley cannons rulez says:_  
k so basically everyone is magically... in this box??

_______Purity stays in the Veins._ says:  
No, you git, we're all typing from various different places in England and the Internet connects it all together.

_______Hermione_says:  
Exactly.

_______Purity stays in the Veins. says:_  
Be quiet, mudblood.

_______chudley cannons rulez says:_  
mudblood??!??!?!?!??!?!? you insulting mione??? i'll hex you down malfoy

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_______six older brothers... thanks, god._ has left the conversation.  
----------------------------

_______the boy who isn't a fucking hero! says:_  
ginny!

_______Purity stays in the Veins. says:_  
Hmm. A tad senstive, perhaps?

_______the boy who isn't a fucking hero! says:_  
you fucking made ginny leave!

_______Purity stays in the Veins. says:_  
Oh no.

_______the boy who isn't a fucking hero! says:_  
Git

_______Purity stays in the Veins. says:_  
I don't know, you didn't seem to mind me this morning.

_______Hermione says:_  
...Harry... What are you doing with Malfoy...?

_______the boy who isn't a fucking hero! says:_  
NOTHING

_______the boy who isn't a fucking hero! says:_  
I swear

_______the boy who isn't a fucking hero! says:_  
nothing at all!! god mione stop grilling me

_______Hermione says:_  
Alright...

_______hotmale (at) hotmail _says:  
you guys are kinda boring lol

_______hotmale (at) hotmail _says:  
m'thinks porn is more interesting

_______hotmale (at) hotmail _says:  
see ya crackas laterrrrrrr

----------------------------  
_______hotmale (at) _has left the conversation.  
----------------------------_____  
_

_______Purity stays in the Veins. says:_  
...Brilliant.

_______the boy who isn't a fucking hero! says:_  
fuck you malfoy

_______Purity stays in the Veins. says:_  
I imagine you'll get the chance to.

_______the boy who isn't a fucking hero! says:  
_!!!!!_______  
_

_______the boy who isn't a fucking hero! says:_  
go to hell, seriously

_______Purity stays in the Veins. says:_  
No, lol.

_______Purity stays in the Veins. says:_  
Oh and Potter, wonderful display picture, so original.

_______the boy who isn't a fucking hero! says:_  
it's a snitch malfoy I play quidditch. better than yours anyways

_______Purity stays in the Veins. says:_  
Hmm, really? Squint and take a look.

_______Hermione says:_  
Is that... Harry?

_______chudley cannons rulez:_  
bloody hell!!! mate wtf are you doing?!

_______the boy who isn't a fucking hero! says:  
_..._______  
_

_______the boy who isn't a fucking hero! says:  
_..._______  
_

_______the boy who isn't a fucking hero! says:_  
where the fuck did you get that?!??!??! do you stalk me or something malfoy??!

_______Purity stays in the Veins. says:_  
No.

_______Purity stays in the Veins. says:_  
However, it's easier not to walk around certain parts of Hogwarts naked, even with your damned cloak on.

_______Purity stays in the Veins. says:_  
Though stalking you – it'd be interesting if I tried, since you are thick.

_______the boy who isn't a fucking hero! says:  
_..._git_

_______chudley cannons rulez:_  
WOAH how did you do that man???? make the letters go all WEIRD

_______Hermione says:_  
You click the 'I' button, Ron.

_______chudley cannons rulez:  
**woah this is brilliant**_

_______chudley cannons rulez:  
**thanks mione!!**_

_______Purity stays in the Veins. says:_  
Your stupidity disgusts me, weasel.

_______Purity stays in the Veins. says:_  
--and no, that was not a capitalization error, weasel isn't considered a proper noun because he's too poor.

_______chudley cannons rulez:  
**i got more squiggly letters than you malfoy take that!!!**_

_______Hermione says:_  
Alright... I'm going to go catch up on reading... Still got to finish Volume 16 of Magical Artifacts and Priceless Posessions. Bye everyone.

----------------------------  
_______Hermione _has left the conversation.  
----------------------------

_______chudley cannons rulez says:_  
oh uh... i gtg... do something.. yeah.

----------------------------  
_____chudley cannons rulez _has left the conversation.  
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_______Purity stays in the Veins. says:_  
Well, that's rather awkward then, isn't it?

_______the boy who isn't a fucking hero! says:_  
take that fucking picture out of your dp or i'll bite you

_______Purity stays in the Veins. says:_  
Tonight? It'll be my pleasure.

_______Purity stays in the Veins. says:_  
Ta-ta, Potter, must go write that wonderful Potions essay we received. I imagine you've forgotten about it. See you tonight, regardless.

----------------------------  
_______Purity stays in the Veins_ appears offline.  
----------------------------

_______the boy who isn't a fucking hero! says:_  
..fuck.


End file.
